Hello everybody; I'm not dead. Yet...
If you didn't know about me, I play the guitar since I was nine years old, it'll be nine years playing the guitar this october.
I always wanted to play, and when my uncle got me my first guitar, I was super excited, and I started learning with a teacher, and then with another one... and then I started with the electric guitar with two other teachers. So, I've never been to the Conservatory of Music.
Since then, I wanted to have a band, and I could on september 2012, so I was extremely happy. We started with covers and one or two songs by us, which I composed, but not really great (we were just four, and the songs were for six, or more). Since... since I was eleven years old I wanted to be a great musician, I wanted be able to live thanks to my music, even if I didn't think of doing just music.
But last year, the year I got my band (well, it was on 2012 but most of it in 2013) I realized it was the only thing that made me happy. And before that, I thought of going to Norway to study translation of something like that... to work and have the life everyone expects me to have. I gave up on that, I didn't want to do it, I didn't want to be the rest of my life translating things I didn't even care about.
When my singer came back to the United States, we looked for another one, and a keyboardist, and another guitarist... and we knew we could do it, together, the six of us, making our own songs (that actually is what we're doing).
And I'm working hard. Really hard, practising a bunch of hours a day, talking to people who can lend us a bar or a place to play in concert, to people who can lend us a recording study.
Our first concert was great. The bar was full. People couldn't even get in or get out. It's not enough yet, but it was a great start.
Artist may say that if we're working hard, it's ok, that we can make it, or at least we can't give up. But what does non-artist people say? That we should do other things, that music is not going to give us life.
That's what the society wants: people that just work. And nothing else. But life without art, life without artist that make art isn't a human life. It may be an animal life, but it isn't human life. They can't understand. They couldn't understand even if they tried.
My teachers (since it's a really small school) say that I should study and give up on the idea of playing on big scenarios. I care about that because they try to reduce me to a non-artist. I didn't really care much, they don't know about ART.
But today, the headmaster talked to us about our orientation on studies, each pupil had to say what he wanted to do next year. I said musician. "I want to be a musician, I'll join the Conservatory next year, and I'll study Arts just in case". He asked me specific music theory that I didn't know about, because I've never been to a Conservatory. I said a wanted to join it to learn what I didn't already know.
And what I'm going to tell now... is what I felt. I felt anger, because I'm sick of people saying that it's a childish dream. I felt sorrow, because when you start a band, it is really hard: nobody believes in you, and you don't have ways to be listened all over the world yet. That's why people don't believe in you, and why they say that we should do something else. I felt agony, because the headmaster was like laughing at me and mocking me.
He said: "Give up. Music is not for you."